554,245 notes · 3 hours ago

oomshi:

i don’t even want a relationship i just want someone to grab my butt & tell me i’m hot

69,220 notes · 3 hours ago

when I’m staring at a girl and she thinks I’m hating

but really I’m just gay

57,663 notes · 3 hours ago
244,400 notes · 3 hours ago
20,826 notes · 3 hours ago
Books are the perfect entertainment: no commercials, no batteries, hours of enjoyment for each dollar spent. What I wonder is why everybody doesn’t carry a book around for those inevitable dead spots in life.
Stephen King (via feellng)
1,625 notes · 3 hours ago

supsass:

can i sell my feelings on ebay i don’t want them anymore

563,364 notes · 3 hours ago
When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life.
John Lennon (via feellng)
1,913 notes · 3 hours ago
dutchster:

Applying for jobs like

Dear Sir/Madam, 
Thank you for rejecting my job application to your company.
I have read your application with interest. Because I have received a large number of refusals, I had to make a selection of candidates and I regret to tell you that you are not part of this group.
Despite your qualities and experience in rejecting job applicants, I must inform you your refusal does not meet my profile for this position.
For this reason, I am notifying you I will start working for your company effective immediately. I am looking forward to a prosperous collaboration.
I wish you all the best in rejecting future applicants.
Sincerely, Mark dutchster